He asked me if I "almost moaned"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
