VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
