was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize