super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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