and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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