I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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