Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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