At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
