I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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