I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
