Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
