Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
