I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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