i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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