Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize