your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
