Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
