I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
