ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
