This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
