They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
