When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
