yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize