Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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