some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
