it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
