1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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