she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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