I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
