But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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