Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
