girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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