Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
