every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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