I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
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