Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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