im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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