I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
