we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
