i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
