So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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