Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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