In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
