At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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