I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
