Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
