8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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