this is something i pride myself on being below average for
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
