I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
