i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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