You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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