I love black thongs
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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