no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
