i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
