Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
