I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
