hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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