Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
