Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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