Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
