A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
