I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Drake has all the answers
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize