Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
