I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
