Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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