I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
