"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
