can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
