dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
third nipple confirmed
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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