Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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