It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
