At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
