I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
