Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
